Razor Ridin: AOTD Edition

Here's one for ya:



Now Ive always seen these goddamn scooter things and thought they looked pretty fuckin gay, personally. I mean the number of times Ive seen grown adults riding these around is astounding. BUT, this picture sure does change my mind on it, now I might need to go buy one to ride around my kitchen while my fatass friend holds my shirt for me....


-King

I'm Back, still dont know Yoga...

Anyways, I realize that I started this blog up and left it idle for quite some time. Now I could make up some bullshit lie (read: excuse), but why bother. Truth is I have been busy doing more important shit in my life to worry about it. Now with more time on my hands I have come back to writing this, not like anyone is reading this blog currently (remind myself to fix that soon), so here we go.

Has anyone seen this today:

"Inoa becomes a sign of the times"

Oakland – low-revenue Oakland, immortalized in the book “Moneyball,” about winning with a scrimp-and-save payroll – signed a 16-year-old named Michel Inoa on Wednesday. Along with his $4.25 million bonus, Inoa got an Anglicized name, Michael, and a ticket to the Dominican Summer League, where he can add weight to his lithe 6-foot-7 frame, throw his 94-mph fastball, unleash his polished breaking ball and work on his changeup.

“Most 16-year-olds are in 10th grade,” said Chris Buckley, the Cincinnati Reds’ scouting director. “This guy compares very favorably to the top high school pitchers in this year’s draft. No. He’s probably more impressive.”

Is there something wrong with this. Great, the kid can throw a hell of a fastball. Great the kid had no money (read: dirt poor). Great the kid is 16, wait, 16, SIX-FUCKIN-TEEN. What in the hell is a major sports team doing signing a 16 year old KID. Don't get me wrong, if he becomes a MLB great pitcher for years to come, then all the more power to him. What I have a hard time understanding is a couple things.

1) What happened to a draft? Every major sport has a draft. It evens the playing field for teams that are starving for good players to draft out front of teams that have been successful. Now Im not saying Oakland doesn't need a kid that can throw a 94mph fast ball, because frankly, while I don't watch much baseball admittedly, Oakland from what I know is not a real strong team. So know a team is allowed to go find potential superstar athletes in a foreign country, and sign them to million dollar contracts, thereby foregoing the draft process. Smart management, yes, bullshit move, yes.

2) Where do scouts get information from such as this:
Bob>>> Hey Dave
Dave>>> Hey man, whats up
Bob>>> Well I was out on vacation in the Dominican Republic, and happened across a slum village, whilst looking for a cheap hooker last night
Dave>>> Great, so why do I need to know?
Bob>>> Well in the village a bunch of kids were playing a sport that resembled baseball. They were using dried donkey shit, and a broom handle mind you, but the kid on the mound could really fling that shit.
Dave>>> Oh yea?
Bob>>> Yea, I rustled up a radar gun at the local policia station 25 miles away and the kid was hitting 94 with his shitballs.
Dave>>> Great lets get this kid signed to a million dollar deal. He'll be able to buy the town, and everyone will live happily ever after
Bob>>> Your an asshole Dave. You know damn well that this kid would rather buy a lowrider, 15 gold chains, and shave his name into his head with that money.
Dave>>> Oh well, get him up here.


Now while I exaggerated a little bit, the premise of it intrigues me. Where the fuck do you happen upon a 16 year old kid, in a country like that, throwing 94mph fastballs?


Now don't get me wrong about all this. I'm happy the kid was discovered and all that jazz, I just find it disturbing that our wonderful country's pasttime has resorted to A) Outsourcing B) Giving a 16 year old kid that kind of money.

Ya know what though, I actually dont like baseball, at all. And I really need to go work on my yoga practice some more, or should I say work on the girl practicing yoga. To each their own......

Personally If I was a MLB GM, my team would consist of these kinds of signings:





-King

AOTD

First Amateur Of The Day. Every week I will show a new beautiful amateur woman that I find on the wonderful world of intronet.



Now excuse me while I go learn how the fuck to do yoga.....

-King

Fuck you, Dunkin

So for my first rant, I have chosen to pick on those donut eating, coffee drinking, fucking arrogant pigs. I live in a small upstate NY town. My police force consists of 5 300lb fat ass pigs whom, just for shits and giggles mind you, enjoy sitting at the goddamn gas station pretty much 24-7. Now, we have 3 gas stations in this town, but the one in particular that they make a hallelujah fucking camp at is the "Nice n' Easy". This gas station happens to sit in the middle of town, in a long stretch of 30mph roadway. Living here for 20 years, I have never once seen a person stopped near this station, and yet every single fucking time I go by, there sits that fat shit, sitting in his Dodge Charger, in the parking lot of this gas station. Why you may ask, well its a simple answer. DUNKIN DONUTS. Yes that wonderful corporation that pigs adore just so happens to sit directly next to this gas station. And if thats not bad enough, they make a practice of giving our extremely obese police force all you can eat free donuts and coffee.

Now some of you may say, so the fuck what. Well I happen to live in the village, and on my stretch of 30mph highway, people like to drive 60mph. Again, so the fuck what, right? Well personally I know of three dog deaths, and numerous close calls with people on this particular stretch of road. Now you think Mr. Fat Ass would perhaps sit in an area where people excessively speed, and try to slow the process by handing out some tickets. Nah, he needs to stuff his face with some more fucking headlights, and blueberry cakes, washing it down with some nice hot tar.

Dunkin Donuts, thanks for playing the game, but go fuck yourself.

Oh and just one more picture to show you why cops are dickheads:



Keep Playing the Game, Pigs.

-King

First Post......Of Many.

Well for no real apparent reason I have decided to start up this blog. This first post will be short, sweet, and to the point. Through my daily travels, I find that in general people are:

A) Completely fucking 100% retarded
B) In denial that they are A)
C) 90% of the time, assholes to whomever is within range of themselves.